Indefinite Hiatus

Yes that's right boys, we're sorry to say this, but The Guyde is undergoing an indefinite hiatus.

We're sorry if we've abandoned you at your hour of need, or if you still have much to learn, but as you have probably noticed- our posts are declining in quality and length. Responsibilities, work and life have kept us busy, and with changing responsibilities and various other difficulties in life emerging, we have decided to call it quits with The Guyde.

And no, this is not a permanent decision. The Guyde and all its past posts will remain completely intact, and we may or may not someday return.

However, we're still going to be here to help you guys! If you need advice on anything at all, whether it be your naggy girlfriend, your upcoming anniversary or tips for your first date, just drop us an email at theguydemail@gmail.com

Email us too if you want to be kept aware of updates, and we'll drop you an email once we've made a definite decision to re-open The Guyde.

Ways to Cheer a Girl Up

Assuming you are not the cause of it...

What to do?

1. Smile. It the least you can do. Some girls will see you smile and smile too, even if she doesn't do it that you can see. The soul is the best place to smile from!
   
2. Ask her if she's okay.
   
3. Tell her she'd be okay. All people love assurances.
4. Let her know you're there, even if she does not want to talk to you about it. You're there nonetheless just in case she does for some crazy strange reason!
5. Tell her something that sucks that's happened to you. She'd feel you are able to understand. It doesn't matter if you're not supposed to know she's in a bad position or not (if she's trying to keep a straight face)... just slip it in.
   

3 Ways To Find Girls

We’ve received a couple of emails from readers expressing their difficulty in finding decent girls to date. Honestly guys, we’re not that hard to find, we’re quite frankly sitting here waiting for your move! So where do you meet girls/ how do you find them?

1. Start by actually looking around you. Often, we go to school/work with all potentially datable people- we just don’t seem to register them as that. Instead, we choose to hold them by the first impressions we give them, and don’t give ourselves a chance to go out and get to know them for who they really are. So look around you. That girl there, have you ever actually made the effort to ask her about herself? What if she too, is looking for someone like you? Go surprise her, surprise yourself.

2. Go out, expose yourself! Each time you go out, think of it as an advertisement for yourself. The more you go out, the more people see your advertisements, the better chance of someone being interested.

3. Act interested. Talk to girls, flirt with them, get their attention. How are your potential dates supposed know you’re interested if they don’t even know of you? Just make sure the attention you receive isn’t negative publicity though- going out and getting yourself wasted isn’t cool.

What She Thinks Of Your Friends

It's important that your girlfriend likes your friends- but it's also important she doesn't like your friends too much, if you get what I mean. What you want to achieve:

She likes your friends in a friendly way. The signs:

• she regularly hangs around them
• she seems to genuinely enjoy herself in their company
• she talks abut things they have done with you when you're alone
• she doesn't mind having to hang around them
• when she's in their presence and you're not there, it's not all awkward and silence
  
• her friends are friends with your friends

However, these two can be bad, particularly the second:

She hates your friends.

• she loudly expresses her dislike: sighs when you make her hang out with them, complaints, etc
• she wouldn't hang out with your friends unless you convinced her to
• she is normally talkative around you, but is really cold to your friends
• when you're not there, she doesn't attempt to make conversation with your friends
• she hates it when you can't be with her because you're doing something with your mates

She likes your friends... a little too much.

• Yep, she definitely hangs around them all the time
• she laughs harder at their jokes than yours (and not just because you're unfunny)
• she flirts with them (see this post, but apply it to your friends)
• she's spending time with them when you're not around
• she's starting to spend more time when them than you

Your girlfriend's relationship with your friends is vital. Monitor and observe it well.

Things Girls Love In Guys

If you're:

• good humored - guys who are easily amused turn a lot of girls on (don't overdo it if it's not you. If you go out of your way to laugh at things that are not even funny lame, it'd shine right through!)
• You are within reason. Why do we like people who possess dicks? Because it means that they don't experience something called PMS. So if a guy is hot and is cold, he is not something that attracts females who are already these things!
• You are smart and not ignorant. You are aware of your environment, you are aware of the world. You don't need to top all your classes, no no. But you must know what is happening so people can discuss things with you in an intelligent matter.
• You are not petty. Sure, we're all about equality these days but it is one of the oldest known fact to mankind that men should not be pettier than his girlfriend. Remember. Tight ass = good. Tight AS ass = not good! I know the line is too fine, but please find it sooner than later.
• You are not self conceited. You are not the most important thing, and she understands that. It's just more convenient when you understands it as well.
• You do not drone on and on about something completely insignificant.
• You know when it is charming and when to stop before it gets overly sluttily flirtatious.
• You are quite charming! You are not a slut, though and does make her feel like she's just 'one of the chicks he flirts with'.

It's Chicks Before Dicks, Guys!

Often many problems will arise when you start dating a girl- no, not between you guys, you’re both probably too filled with giddiness to be able to point out any problems if there were to be any.

But that isn’t to say there is no friction outside your little bubble of the perfect world.

So, first off: MAKE SURE YOU DON’T SPEND EVER WAKING SECOND WITH HER. Not only will that mean your life is empty without her, girls have a strict ‘Chicks before Dicks’ rule and they’re expected to adhere to it.

She probably has a best friend, or a group of friends she is particularly close to. Make sure she still has the time to spend with other people other than you. Don’t be selfish, trust me in that the last thing you want is for her friends to be against you.

So the point is, don’t pressure her to spend all her time with you- she probably wants to, but she has a life too. Pressuring her will only make things harder for her. So be a gentleman and tell her she doesn’t need to focus all her attention on you (even if you and I both know that you know, you honestly really actually want that.)

But I guess if she’s not a believer in the rule, you can’t do much about it, can you?!

Things Girls Hate In Guys

Take note and avoid:

• Arrogance: being self-sure or slightly cocky is appealing, but arrogant is not. Big egos are not good.
  
• Being over-protective: give her some space and do not accuse her with cheating on you every time she looks at another guy. Let her continue being friends with her male friends or hanging out with other guys. You need to be able to trust her, and that means not being overprotective
• Vain guys: being hygienic and practising standard grooming methods are good, and the occasional checking-yourself-out-in-the-shop-window thing can be cute, but do not spend more time getting dressed/doing your hair than your girlfriend does. Most girls prefer a rough man, as opposed to a pretty boy.
• Acting all tough/bad-boy when you're not: do not randomly start fights to try and impress your girl: it's transparent and most girls can see right through it. And especially do not talk to your girlfriend about how you'll bash up some guy when you see him next, if your sole intention is to act tough. She'll realise that you're bluffing next time you do meet up with that guy.
  
• Acting all sensitive/emo: Some girls like sensitive guys, but this does not mean you should go over the top, especially if you're not being you. Also, try not to be too whiney. Find a balance between being tough and being sensitive.
• In general, guys who aren't themselves: girls aren't stupid: they can see how you act around your friends or your family, and they can compare this to how you act around them. Be yourself, and don't try to put up an act just to impress the girl; it'll usually do the very opposite.
• Guys who are degrading: do not point out a girl's faults or defects, even though she might point out yours. Girls are much more fragile. and if you want her to change in any way, do it very very gently. You should not ever be derogatory, and know where the fine line between teasing and being plain rude is.
• Negative guys: find the positive side in things, do not go dissing everything or pointing out the faults in everyone.

That's a pretty broad list of everything a guy should not be: and most girls would agree. Suck it in and be rid of your personality defects at once!

Why is she MAD at YOU?

Girls are at times strange and crazy creatures. And we are so sorry about that.

If she is clearly mad at you, and you are *positive* that you have not done anything wrong, you are obviously wrong! She's probably mad for one, or a combination of these reasons:

• You talked about someone, and she feels as though you take a little personal favorite here. This is a very common, stupid mistake that many men make. They also seem to have truly mastered the art of becoming completely oblivious to it (perhaps you guys are acting out...and quite frankly, in either case - it's time you learn). "I am sorry, but as long as I am around, I am your queen. SO TREAT ME LIKE ONE!"
• Your eyes lingered a fraction of a second too long on a female member who may or may not possess desirable assets (as usually conventionally perceived by the male population). See point above.
• "My friend thought this..." - don't you tell us that your friends opinion about us would influence yours to that extent!
• You're late on two or more occasions. Have you ever heard of priority? And where should we be on that list? Yeah...
• You diminish our value... this is all too common. Men are, as a generalization very arrogant. And I've dealt with enough men to realize so!
  

Okay, so upon reflection - I see that we, as a race may be a bit overdramatic. But we're cute and have breasts, so suck it up, dudes.

How To Flirt Your Way To A Girl's Heart

Ok, I’ll admit it. There are some guys out there who really know their stuff and flirting would be second nature for them. And more often then not, they know this too.

The rest of the guy population however, seem to have totally missed out on that one flirting gene.

So I’m here not to promise you a full fledged plan on how exactly to steal her heart. More so, I am here to help you lay the foundation of being a lady’s man- because of course, every guy’s flirting style is unique.

The golden rule behind all this is to: Take Things Slowly. You don’t want to jump too hard at her. It is in human nature to get nervous if someone was to leap from being “the no one guy” to something more like “the stalkerish guy who failingly flirts with me”. You’ve totally skipped “the friendly guy who’s rather cute” and “hey I like this guy, he’s really sweet” stages.

So what do you do?

Do some research. Ask around to see what type of person she is. The types of things she listens to, whether she’s already attached (important one, this one). Get to know her, without actually talking to her, although don’t delve too deep into her history or anything- THAT is stalkerish.

Just casually ask around. It’ll help when you actually meet her- it’ll make jumping from random conversations easier.

Now you’re prepared with an arsenal of information (okay, not literally), you’re all prepared to go up and actually meet her.

Again, don’t JUMP at her. Casually initiate conversations with her, go out of your way to ‘accidentally coincidentally’ just bump into her and walk to the bus stop together. Do this enough so to be able to receive a ‘hi’ from her whenever you pass her in corridors.

Her being able to say ‘hi’ to you without being prompted is critical. It shows that she notices your presence and is comfortable with you around.

Once you’ve accomplished the ‘hi’, start to subtly let her know you like her more than she may anticipate. Initiate conversations even when unnecessary, go out of your way to walk with her to the bus stop, and let her know that- just don’t act smug about it.

Here, she’s probably going through a lot of confusion in her head. She’s probably wondering how exactly you feel about her, and to assure her, keep the compliments/favours coming.

Keep making her feel special- every girl likes to be liked, and soon enough, she’ll be all yours.

First Dates: Dos and Don'ts

First dates are important. Not only will the girl go and tell all her friends every single minute detail about it, but if you guys end up with a happily ever after, then your first date would be remembered forever and ever. When she's old and on her rocking chair by your side, she will still (most likely) remember the exact date and location, what song was playing in the background, what you ate, what movie you watched, or what you spoke about. First dates are vital, do not stuff it up.

Do:

• Dress up for the occasion. Remember: it's better to be overdressed than underdressed- it makes you look like you have somewhere more important to go to afterwards. And it also shows that you made the effort.
• Take her somewhere nice. Do something that would make both of you feel comfortable, do not take her to some public place where neither of you would get the chance to talk. And importantly: do not take her out with your friends, then ignore her.
  
• Compliment her on her outfit. But don't seem sleazy. Give her a genuine, nice comment.
• Look like you're enjoying yourself. Even if you can't wait to get the hell out of there, don't hurt her feelings. And if you have to leave early, let her know that it clearly is not her fault (even though it is), and tell her you are deeply sorry and will make it up for her.
• Tell her how fun the date was when it ends.
  
• Take the opportunity to get to know her. Ask about her interests, but do not agree to everything she says. You need to disagree with her sometimes; girls like personality. We don't want a guy-clone of ourselves.
  

Don't:

• Have awkward silences!! Fill up the gaps with gentlemanly, intelligent, witty talk. But do not blabber. Plan subjects to talk about ahead of time.
• Lie. Do not tell her that you read Stephen King when you don't. Do not pretend to be an expert in a field you are not. Do not tell her you are the CEO of a major company when you're unemployed.
• Be in a rush to kiss her. You don't have to kiss her if you don't feel like it. And do not kiss her if she doesn't feel like it. So do not grab her head and smash it against yours. If she wants to kiss you, then she'll lean forwards, and you'll know to go for it!
• Let her know that you just want to get into her pants. Even if you do, you shouldn't be too pushy on the first date. Take things slowly, and make sure she knows you like her for reasons other than her physical appearance.
• Take her to a football game/racing venue/boxing match/strip club. Those are places you go to with your friends. Friends are different to girlfriends. Girlfriends would most likely hate the places you take your friends to. So do not take her to one of the previously mentioned joints, you'll make her ashamed for being with you.
• Be sleazy. Do not randomly slide your hands up her skirt, or something equally disgusting (on the first date). Later is fine, but not on the first date. If you really want to, just *accidentally* brush your knees against hers under the table.

Don't stuff it up.

5 Things To Run Through That Brain of Yours

...before you open your mouth.

You are not boys. Most of us do not overlook things and dismiss it without second thought; we are female. In fact, if most girls are like me - she'd be running ever single word you pronounce over and over again in her head. That is, if she likes you enough which, for the sake of the argument - she is really, really is. If you said, the right thing, she'd smile her ass off and woo her heart until it melts. If you've said the wrong thing, she'd ponder over it for days - if not much longer! She'd be thinking these things out until her brain explodes, and lets face it - the last thing you want is a girl and her brain, in separate parts I mean.

Her: Theresa's pretty don't you think?
You: Yeah, she has a really pretty smile.

• Why did he say that?
• Was it fuelled by other people's opinion about me/whatever, or did he come up with it himself?
• If it is the former case, who and why would they think that? Why would they tell him? More importantly, was it a girl or a boy? If it's a girl, why is she so close to him that she is able to influence him to that degree - persuade him so much so? How does he feel about her?
• If it's the latter - what was he thinking about when that thought came across. Was he rethinking in regards to our relationship?
• What is going to happen???

So before you say something that can jeopardize your relationship --> future --> life, think:

1. Is this putting her down in some way.
2. How would this sound to her ears?
3. What does SHE think of (given topic)? Her opinion?
   
4. If she disagrees to what I am about to say, how can I word it to be honest but not offend her?
5. What would other people think of this (if they hear it - this is not because you/her will necessarily go around telling people (well, she might!!!) but if it doesn't sound alright to hear, then it shouldn't be alright to say!).

Ciao for niao.

Women To Avoid

These types of women = trouble.

1. Your best friend’s ex: You’ve heard all about it, never date your best friend’s ex! Not only will it makes things super awkward with your best friend, it’ll spread and your reputation will plummet. Because honestly, what kind of friend are you if you’re going to date your best friend’s ex?
But they’ve been separate for a while now, do you say? But they’re no longer on bad terms? But your best friend is now dating someone new? THAT DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING! Either get the girl before your best friend, or forget the dream altogether.

2. Your best friend’s sister: ok, same deal here. What are her parents going to think? No longer will you be able to share any details (good, or bad) with your best friend, because what do you know? THEY LIVE UNDER THE SAME ROOF.

3. Your ex: Couples break up for a reason. And that is the reason why you should never get back together. The boundaries here can be a little blurred though. I personally know a lot of on again off again couples who technically, would be “dating their ex’s”. I have no problem with this kind of relationship (not meaning that I endorse it or such, although also not meaning that I object to it). By “ex’s”, I mean if you guys have truly and totally broken up and have (had) no more feelings for each other (no good ones anyway).
If you suddenly develop feelings (good ones, that is) for your ex, think back to WHY you guys broke up in the first place. Getting back together could be rerun of your past relationship.

4. Your secretary/client: Not only is it unprofessional, think of what will happen AFTER you guys break up. This is kind of like the best friend deal. Will things be able to simply revert to normal again? Yes, it is possible, but more often than not, it doesn’t work.
Moreover, it will be a distraction to your work.

How To Be A Stylish Heterosexual Male

Have you ever wondered why guys on TV can pull off anything, while you feel like the world's biggest dork when you attempt to look stylish? The key is confidence. Look the part, feel comfortable in your clothes, and you can fool anybody. If you want to look stylish (and trust me, you'll want to look stylish. Girls dig stylish), read on:

Things To Avoid

• Looking like a walking cliche. You do not want to look clichéd. Do not dress in a way where people can easily stereotype you. Don't try to dress like a basket-baller (baggy shorts, baggy shirt, sweat bands. Leave it to the pros) or a hip hop artist (ditto, minus the sweat bands, plus the bling). I repeat, do not dress like a basket-baller or a hiphop artist unless you are a basket-baller/hiphop artist.
• Dressing like a gay man. It is true, gay men have style that can match no other man, but this does not mean you have to dress like one. Dress stylishly, but masculinely.
  
• Wearing bright neon colours. No one wants a flashling neon sign as a boyfriend.
  
• Wearing clothes that are too tight/too baggy. Do not wear skinny jeans AND a tight top. And do not wear a huge baggy shirt and huge baggy pants. Girls have a general rule that guys should follow too: if you wear fitted pants, wear a bigger top. If you're wearing a tight-ish, or fitted top, wear looser pants.
• Chucking on the same outfit every time you go out. I assure you: girls notice. So next time you go out, try to remember what you wore last time, and avoid it.
  

Things Girls Like:

• A man who can pull things off. Try new things, and look confident in your outfits.
  
• Polished boys. Look well groomed, clean your clothes properly, and remember to change your underwear (I know that's obvious, but you never know with guys...)
• Individuality. Do not go around dressing like everyone else. This means not wearing a giant t-shirt or a baggy hoodie with jeans everywhere you go. Mix it up a bit. Try a shirt for a change. You've heard the word before right? S.H.I.R.T. They're cotton-y and they have buttons and collars. Iron crisply, do not do the buttons all the way up. Guys underestimate the convenience of shirts. Going out with your mates? Wear a shirt with jeans. Going out for dinner? Add a tie, change the jeans for proper pants. Going to a formal? Add a blazer! Amazing, right?
• Hilarious t-shirts. Well, not all girls, but most girls with a sense of humour would either like those really witty smart-joke shirts, or the lame-but-hilarious shirts. If you're insistent on not wearing an actual shirt, then a hilarious t-shirt is for you. But do make sure the shirt is actually funny. Lame-funny shirts are fine, but lame-lame shirts are not.
  
• Guys who know how to pull together a flattering outfit. If you're on the big side, do not try super-duper skinny jeans or turtlenecks. Again, if you're tall and skinny, try to pick clothes that actually fit you. You don't want to look like you're about to burst out/drown in your clothes. And when you go shopping, actually try on the clothes before you buy them. When you do, check for things that look good on you: colours that accent your eyes or hair, cuts that make you look more toned, things that make your arms appear larger, your stomach appear smaller, etc. If a shirt makes you look like a fatty, then don't buy it no matter how attached to it you may be.

Sources for ideas

• WhoWhatWear. The blog is usually for females, but they occasionally feature guy-celebs. For example, in this article.
• Lookbook.nu. A website where young people from 15 to 25 share their daily outfits. Again, mostly female-dominated, but the occasional guys who post their looks are uber-stylish. This website provides excellent examples.
• The Satorialist. Features people from the streets of Paris, Milan and New York. The website is more gender-balanced, and features people of all ages.
  
• Jak&Jil: Includes images of the chicest people in the fashion industry, including male designers, models and photographers.
  
• Look through catalogues or websites of clothing stores for ideas.
  

What Girls Really Think About...

We found this Australian student portal forum from a reader, who directed me to a Questionaire for girls. Useful, interesting stuff.

I may be slightly biased but the Qs for Guys are totally more interesting though! I told you, men are strange!

Hope these Aussie guys don't mind. It's for research and educational purposes :P

For answers from the chicks:
1. Is it true that girls like bad guys?

• no.
• Yes. Very much so. Lead me into temptation please.
• No. That's what "nice guys" who think the reason they can't get a gf is cuz they're "too nice" say to make themselves feel better.
• bad in a braod sense, yes (i.e. not a mummy's boy or really boring, etc), but they have to be lovely and sweet to us.
• Not bad bad, but someone who isn't afraid to bend the law bit XD
• Yes
• Some probably do, but you can't generalise.
• depends on the girl
• Yes.

2. Whats your favourite kinda dude eg Skater, Emo, Lad etc?

• Musician. Bass/ Guitarists and singers need only apply. Not too fussed on drummers.
• normal
• I am not sure
• femmeboys
• Above average intelligence with some wit
• Ooo I like skaters but anyone normal looking usually.
• None of the above, they're all stupid. Nerd. Nerd is good. Or guy next door, lol.
• emoooo
• Emo/Punk/Skater...good taste in music too

3. What do girls fall for the most first eg eyes, hair, clothes etc?

• eyes, ass, clothes. ugly shoes kill my life.
• You won't get a look in if you have bad hair - then if you don't give me a cheeky smile I will begin to doubt. Afterward a look at the eye colour (green or blue preferred) will seal the deal.
• Whether he is mature
• it depends on the person and the intention. personality, mostly. if a guy is funny and cute then that's the biggest turn on - but physically i'd say that overall presentation is key, so dressing well is important.
• Actions - he must be considerate
• Personality and looks.
• Again, can't generalise, but for me; eyes, smile, hair, body, everything else.
• eyes first, then hair, then clothes
• Eyes, smile, decent haircut,

4. If a dude smells nice does that make him much hotter?

• Yes. Yes. Yes. Yummy smelling guys who you can hug and nuzzle into their necks. So very nice.
• much
• Yes --- the natural kind of nice.
• yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.
• Yes, well more of a chance i'll speak to him.
• Fuck yes.
• If a dude smells nice does that make him much hotter?
• i dont like smells
  Yes.
• yeahh...

5. Tall, dark and handsome...that really the fantasy of a perfect guy?

• Yes. For me anyway. I could settle with Medium height, dark and handsome however.
• pretty much, yeah.
• Why are you trying to find out what "girls" like? Are you trying to seduce many girls at once?
• yeahh i believe so..
• yes
• Not really - just a toned, smart and nice ^^
• No.
• Tall, dark and handsome...that really the fantasy of a perfect guy?
  For me, pretty much yeah. But not for everyone, again.
• not dark, tall and handsome is fine
  

6. What do girls really like when it comes to sex?

• passion, attention to detail ie, where you put your hands, where you kiss, pace etc.
• I want passion. I want you to be present and in the moment. No holding back and emotionally invested in the experience. Don't make it just about you racing to the finish.
• Making you believe she's not faking it
• attentiveness, consideration, reciprocating things, a boy who knows his way around the vagina (it is a bit of a maze, i admit)
• No pressure.
• What do girls really like when it comes to sex?
  If you're not in it JUST to please yourself, that's a start. Don't be selfish. And maybe do a bit of research. Porn doesn't count. That way you've got some idea about what you should be putting where and whatnot. Um. Rough. Rough is good. Be assertive. Oh, and don't just try and shove it in. Girls generally take a little more effort to arouse than guys.
• wont say

7. Ultimate fantasy?

• you know what, i dont think i have one...
• I go to a concert. A small band, but slowly finding success. The guitarist keeps smiling at me during the gig and afterward approaches me at the bar to ask if I'd like to have a drink and chat....Cut to a couple of hours later and we are at his...Just for one night. That's all!
• The guy I think will never love me loves me. LOVE, not like. Not infatuated with me or with the idea of someone loving him so much.
• domination. a boy who will let me dress him up in my clothes and boss him around and then jump his bones.
• I agree with zoe, complete domination :P
• 1)Two guys.
  2)Semi public place.
  3)The office of the hottest teacher at my school.
  4)A tall, muscley highlander when on holiday in Scotland.

Long Distance Relationships

You don’t need to see your partner every second of every day for a relationship to work. Long distance relationships can, and are proven to work. But that isn’t to say that they are for everyone, so before you commit yourself in a long distance relationship, think of the pro and cons:
Pros:

• You will learn to treasure the times you spend together more, and not take the things you do together for granted.
• Your trust in your partner will intensify. This is important- there is no relationship without trust. Moreover, you will learn not to get jealous at the slight mention of other guys.
• You will be able to continue with your life without much interference which may come with a more conventional relationship. There will be no need to keep your weekends free to spend with your partner- the weekend is yours.
• Your feelings for each other will be developed on a more meaningful level, as opposed to one based on lust.

Cons:

• Trust that there will be many times where you will feel lonely and wish that your partner was there with you. It will be emotionally stressful.
• You both lead different lives- you live in different places, know different people, do different things. It will be harder to relate to each other, which may lead to misunderstandings.
• No physical intimacy. No more hugging, kissing, touching. Nothing.
• The phone bill. Be prepared to provide for extremely high phone bills.

Again, long distance relationships can work, and they will work if both parties co-operate. And if you work hard enough, it will be absolutely worth the effort.

How To Turn A Friend Into A Girlfriend

If you're starting to feel attracted to a girl who you are already friends with, well congrats because you just saved yourself that super duper hard leap of having to get to know her. In a way, you've got it easy.

Instead of having to:

• learn about her interests and who she really is,
  
• figure out whether she hates you or not, or
  
• find out if she's mental,

you get to cut the chase and go in for capture.

However, it can also set you back slightly:

• she might view you as a brother, instead of someone date-able
• your secret hints and flirtatiousness might be seen as friendly gestures
• if you ask her out and she says no, your friendship is ruined.

But not to worry! Here are 5 easy peasy steps to follow (you may have to modify them slightly depending on your girl):

1. Make sure she does not have a boyfriend, or another guy of interest. If she does, you're screwed. You could try to get rid of the boyfriend/guy of interest, but murdering him is not an option. Try pointing out his flaws to her, or showing your superiority over him.
2. Double check that she has interests in going out with a guy. If she's a lesbian, or she is 100% school/work focused, she will not go out with you no matter how much she likes you. Find out before you ask her, for the sake making both your lives easier.
3. Let her know you like her as more than a friend. This is probably the most difficult step, and presumably the most time consuming. Do things that are extra nice, even nicer than you would normally be. Hug her more often, put your arm around her if it feels right, flirt with her, but don't go too extreme. Another discrete way is to give her yellow roses with red tips (they're a secret rose signal for 'friendship turning into love'). Then find out if she's interested in you. If she states that you're like a brother to her, or she deflects all your attempts to flirt, clearly she is not interested. Open your eyes and ears, and look for the signs.
4. Think carefully. If she likes you, and you like her, then THINK CAREFULLY. Think about the friendship you guys have. If you're barely friends, then skip this step. But if you are the bestest of buddies, carefully consider the possibility that you two would one day break up. It is a known fact that no, you cannot simply still be friends. It will not be the same. One will be the bitter ex inside, and the other will be the horrible-guilty-feeling person. If you are sure you want to risk it, then go for it. But if you simply want to be friends; if you think you'll get over her quickly, or if you treasure your friendship more, then STOP RIGHT HERE AND GO NO FURTHER.
5. Ask her out. GO FOR IT. If all the above steps have been followed, then the transition would be as smooth as a pair of freshly waxed legs. And that's real smooth.
   

And may the two of you live happily ever after, and be best friends and lovers, like in all the soppy sloppy movies.

Why Intelligent Girls Dig You

So I have been looking around (usually every other day I walk about with my eyes shut! haha, I'm so funny.) and realized that intelligent people go with intelligent people. Maybe it's not such a perfect balance in most cases, however, it is very unlikely that the intelligence is completely off balanced, such as money and social classes are some times are.

I mean, "love is all you need". I'm sure Mr Darcy said something like that somewhere (hmm, and by Mr Darcy, I meant John Lennon).

If you go for those girls who stick their heads in the clouds (you know, they should seriously change that expression! I think clouds are nice stuff!) wearing their mini skirts (and if you are a guy who wears mini skirts, then I am very sorry; sorry I have offended you and sorry that you wear mini skirts) then good for you - you are clearly not the targer audience of this post so please come back in two days for a fresh one that might be relevant to you.

By intelligent, I don't mean you necessarily have to be academically gifted/genius. If you are not good at maths, it doesn't necessarily mean you are lacking in intelligence. So for those of you who are racing your mouse up that red X up there, spare me a bone (or moments) to finish this off. Intelligence meaning not lacking in knowledge. You cannot be ignorant.

I like lame guys. And I know a LOT of chicks who (secretly) dig them. However, there are many categories of lame (well by now, you should have realised I kind of like putting things into categories). There's smart lame and dim wit lame. Being lame is no excuse for ignorance, sorry.

There is not one bigger turn off than an ignorant person. There is no such thing worse than a stupid, ignorant person. Maybe there is, a smart, ignorant person. I don't know which one I'd choose over which. But when the opportunity do arise for such extreme choices, I'd walk away and die a virgin.

Just A Thing You Should Know Before You Cheat On Her

You need to know that:

1. Girls aren’t stupid
2. Girls can be crazy
   

If you’re going to cheat on your girlfriend, know that SHE WILL FIND OUT. Whether it be through flicking through your phone logs, text messages, receipts in your wallet, or your neighbours hearing suspicious sounds coming through your thin walls.

So no matter how well you think you’re hiding it, if she hasn’t already figured it out, trust us here, SHE WILL.

Not only will she find out, she will most probably do something crazy about it too. So be prepared, as she may:

• Well, move on. This is pretty self-explanatory, and you deserve it.
• If she doesn’t decide to move on and decides to stay with you, her trust in you will have faltered. She will no longer be able to trust you unconditionally like she used to anymore, no matter how hard she may try or want to.
• If she doesn’t fall into the above two categories however, you may be in a little bit of trouble. She may decide to hook-up with say… your best friend, maybe. And trust us in that whoever he is, he will be BIGGER, BETTER, TALLER, DARKER, MORE HANDSOME than you in EVERY way possible.
• Or she might decide you belong in this special place in the heart of the Internet called WomanSavers.com. Oh no, you don’t want that.
• She may also coincidentally become the new best-friend of every single one of your new girlfriends. And think about it, we girls trust each other more than we trust some guy we've only just started seeing. Consider yourself girlfriendless for the rest of your life.
• Expect a whole group of people to simply STOP talking to you. Don’t worry, everyone will know about it.

Moral of the story: don’t EVER cheat on a girl!

Why Love Should Be Your First Priority

For many guys, love isn't the first priority. Maybe your parents are against her. Maybe you have education or work to worry about. Maybe you have money problems.

Why should it stop you, though?!

Think about it. If you are in love, as in REAL TRUE LOVE, why not risk everything for it?! If you truly love a girl, chase her with all your might. If you and your girlfriend are in love, do everything to keep her. If the woman you love just left you, win her back.

Excuses are for the weak, for losers who are afraid of rejection.

If your love is the real deal, give it your all. Who knows, what if you never experience the same thing again? What if you can never find a girl who makes you as happy as she does, what if you can't find a girl who you laugh with as hard as you do with her, what if you never meet another girl who is as talented and smart as she is?

I reinforce again, if you really like her, go for it. Don't let excuses and priorities stop you.

Would you rather be homeless but with someone who you truly love, who will entertain you and interest you no matter where you are, or would you rather be a lonely workaholic, with a huge empty cold mansion with no one to share it with?

No sane person would prefer the mansion. Why would you choose lonely over love?!

If you have never properly thought of it before, think about it. True love should be worth risking everything.

The Truth About Edward Cullen

Unless you've been under one hell of a rock or are accessing this blog from a galaxy far, far away, you've probably heard of the Twilight Saga. If you've read any of the books from the series (and if you decide to start any day, I encourage you do so from book one as the further you go -- well, lets just say that the first book is the best of the series!! [OMGz ~ Wii Luv Edwardz!!!]).

Even if you have not seen the cover of the books, you'd probably have heard it is about a mediocre (ordinary teenager gurl) youngster who migrated to a town far far away from San F. This town is called Folks and she falls in love with a 107 yo virgin and gangster (by gangster & virgin, I mean vampire).

Nuff, we hear. You've probably done enough EC research yourself now so we can get basic algebra truly out of sight.

We've received a few emails from girls (or are they?) who wish their 'perfect guy' - whether he be theirs or theirs in their wonderful land called imagination - to be... lets just say more perfect. And by more perfect, we mean Edward Cullen.

So what's up with this guy? We give you girl interpretation of Edward Cullen and the reasons behind the millions of girls wearing "Team Edward" panties. (I don't own one, but you might need to check just to make sure.)

• He's facially perfect. Your solution: consult magician and/or plastic surgeon.
• He's bodily perfect. Your solution: renew gym membership and/or learn how to swim.
• He's a gentleman. Consult mother.
• BUT he's a bit of a bad boy. Oh so you can get the best of both worlds. He's nice to you when appropriate (i.e. to make yo friends soo jealous) but you know he's so spank you hard when uhmm.. the time comes which requires this being so.
  I feel bad for talking about girls who desires both these contradicting traits of a male in a bad light for I myself hardly an exception upon true self reflection. The thing is, the books didn't create the character of Edward Cullen. Simply, Stephenie Meyer only extracted this universal desire of the male race into one being that EC is. In other words, for years and years girls have always wanted these two features in a male personality.
  Your solution: I don't know. Become a bit of a badass, but not too much?
• He's generous. So he's rich and he attempts at showering her with gifts.
  I know, I know. Something about this screams "FEMINISM - WHAT THE FRENCH HAPPENED TO THAT?". Even though Bella repeatedly refuse them, anyone with half a brain would understand it is the notion that truly brings about and place emphasis upon his wealth and generousity as consequently, he resorted her to accepting more, even heftier tagged gifts.
  
• He wants her (sexually, in case anyone missed the euphemism) her so bad, but he puts her virginity first. In other words, he's horny as (which contributes to his masculinity scores) but would rather kill himself than risk making it bad for her.
  She even puts herself out (stripping him to reveal his perfect "ice sculpture" body and unbuttoning her own shirt which got him CRAZY) but he was like "No, thank you! Put it back on, you naughty little girl!"
  "Why?? I want to have you. Cmon, please? Do it with me?"
  "No! You know, you're killing me like this?"
  "Then lets do it!"
  "No, we shall wait. Because I love you. Even though I am so hot right now, I am more in love with you than I am hot therefore NO!"
  This means the sex would be hellagood when it does happen. Anyone with the other half a brain would have guessed from book one that its gunna happen.
  Your solution: Stay a virgin and insist upon it for a very long, long while. Good luck.
  
• He dazzles. Your solution: buy glitter.

Sorry guys, I've been busy so this post is late late late!! Well by a day but to those who asked about it, I'm really sorry for having to make you even have to ask about it. Peace (school girl smile)?

How To Get Over A Girl

Relationships can be all happy and dandy, but when they end you can start to feel lost and directionless. But not to worry, The Guyde is here to save you. (That is our sole purpose, after all.)

So, The Guyde’s Official Guide to Help You Get Over That Girl You Just Can’t Seem to Stop Thinking About:

Give it Time. Everything takes time, and you can’t expect yourself to just get over her quick fast.

Rid of all things that remind you of her. You may think that you’re doing fine one moment, but it only takes one thought of her and you may be back to square one again. So play it safe and disinfect your whole house of EVERYTHING. Yes, ESPECIALLY that jumper of her’s that you’re still sleeping with.

Build your perfect lover. No, SHE is not perfect. There is someone else who is even better than her in every aspect. Make a list of all the qualities this perfect lover possesses and fall in love. Examples of qualities to help you get start off include: the ability to make you smile in any given situation, and don’t even try to tell me SHE can do that, because right now, SHE CAN’T, CAN SHE?!

Avoid her. Making excuses to talk/see her needs to stop NOW.

Make a list of all negative things about her. Blow it up, print it out, and stick it up on a wall where you know you’ll see it often. Go out of your way to pass by it every so often to engrave the reasons into your head.

She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Liking girls can be hard. One moment, you are almost positive that she likes you back. The next moment, she is completely uninterested, and you ask yourself if she even knows who you are. There are three usual reasons:

She likes you.
Stereotypically, she expects you to make the first move. She's into you, but she doesn't want to make that too obvious, in case it turns you off. That's why she acts uninterested sometimes. But sometimes its hard to keep all the emotion in, and she can't help but to be interested. Or maybe she likes you, but she isn't sure whether or not you like her back. She might try to stop herself from liking you, hence the lack of interest sometimes. But if she likes you enough, you'll still be able to pull her back like a magnet.

She's playing hard to get (i.e. she likes you)
Many girls believe that the way to keep a guy on his toes is to play hard to get. Keep him curious, keep him questioning whether or not she really likes him, let him do the chasing. And if you're here reading this, chances are that it worked. She really has got you wondering whether or not she's interested. Obvious signs are: flirting with other guys, looking into your eyes across the room for a while, then quickly turning away, asking you many questions about your life and such, then suddenly acting disinterested, days of heightened conversations, then nothing.

Face it, she doesn't like you.
Sorry to break it to you, but maybe she's just not into you. If she's smiling at you from across the room, maybe she's smiling because she's happy. If she's blowing kisses at you, maybe they were meant to be for the guy behind you. If you hold her gaze often, maybe she just forgot to put her contacts on, and she doesn't realise she's looking into your eyes. Always keep this option at the back of your mind, don't fall for false hope. However, if you really do like this girl, this shouldn't stop you. Keep trying! You never know, maybe when she finally does notice you, she'll fall in love!

The Real Deal About Valentines Day.

Sorry, this post is late by a few hours I know (and apologize) but unfortunately I have been away from the computer and gettin' shagged since Vday. (Ha, no.)

We've received a few emails from some readers about Valentines Day. To sum everything up, you guys said:

• Thanks for the ideas, I was about get her (something stupid).
  
• Valentine's Day is STUPID. Why are you endorsing it?
• Valentine's Day is GAY and it's a completely commercialized holiday and holds NO significance.
• Love should not be celebrated ONCE a year but everyday. You should love whoever you love every day, not just for one designated day.

Please understand the author of this post is a dangerously romantic girl who has not grown old enough to have lost her passion yet. She is in the prime of her youth, if you may. She is not some anti-mainstream, anti-conformism chick staying far and wide out from the crowd. With this understanding, you may clearly see where I am coming from.

I think Valentine's Day is great. It's a super fantastic delicious day. Why? Because it's the day that everybody know a day 'dedicated to love'. However, I don't love it.

I'm completely neutral about it, actually. I'm not those girls who wake up in the morning and fret over how many roses she'd get during the day compared to her equally busty girlfriend. And I am definitely far from the people who go around giving people dirties on Valentine's Day because they are "endorsing it".

However, Valentine's Day is a magnificent day because it is another day and therefore just like any other day - not because it is Valentine's Day - we should love, love, love lurve!

Love is wonderful and should be celebrated at every chance and every opportunity that may call on it. And isn't Valentine's Day like any other day and thus should be celebrated as well?

So what if it's commercial. It's a day that people can dedicate to love and what is so wrong with that?

Back to the days when I were a 13 year old cool teeny bopper aNDZ typin lyk DIZ, I, too started to believe in the "boycott Valentine's Day! It's too commercial" crap. This was probably because I did not understand the HELL it was with that! It just sounded out of mainstream and thus cool.

This was until I grew up and realized I was 12 no longer and decided to expanded my horizons, especially because as I said - I am extremely romantic. It didn't take long. Googling Valentines Day, Saint Valentines with history brings back plenty of information. And when I read into it, Valentine's Day is pretty awesome. It may not be awesome today because we made it SUCK but at it's core, it's a wonderful day to remember the sacrifices of some people in history for what we enjoy each and everyday. Love.

You don't have to go over the top for Valentine's Day because real love shouldn't be physical or have a hefty price tag attached. Love should be in there.

Love on Valentine's Day as if it's any other day. And remember, some people in some parts of the world, now or before or in the future may be willing to die for love. If you don't have a Valentine this year or next, celebrate it for them.

What She's Thinking When...

You‘re at the cinemas-
She’s thinking: I bet he’s just about to reach over and hold my hand
You’re thinking: Check out that awesome scene!
You: reach over and hold her hand.

She shows you her new outfit-
She’s thinking: I bet he LOVES this on me!
You’re thinking: All her outfits look the same; doesn’t she have ten million black dresses already?
You: compliment her and tell her how great she looks.

She texts you-
She’s thinking: Why isn’t he replying? Does this mean he isn’t interested?
You’re thinking: Crap, no credit.
You: find a way of replying to her, whether it be calling her up, or bringing it up next time you see her and apologising. (Make sure ‘next time you see her’ isn’t a few weeks later, though.)

You give her a baseball cap as a present-
She’s thinking: Not the bouquet of roses I was expecting, but I rally should act as if I appreciate it…
You’re thinking: Now she can come out and play baseball with my friends!
You: See here. And here.

She tells you nothing is wrong, when she is obviously looking down-
She’s thinking: I want him to keep questioning me. It’ll show he cares.
You’re thinking: Okay if it’s nothing, I’m hungry.
You: Ask her what’s on her mind, but don’t over do it. If she really doesn’t want to tell you, she will get annoyed.

She’s flirting with other guys:
She’s thinking: I hope he can see this, and he better start getting jealous and whisk me away from here.
You’re thinking: Maybe she’s not so interested in me.
You: well, whisk her away!

She mentions something she wants to do repetitively-
She’s thinking: I bet he’s planning the perfect date for us!
You’re thinking: Ok, so that place may be legendary, why must she bring it up so often?
You: come to some senses and plan that legendary date already!

Last Minute Valentine's Day Gift

So you read our last post on Valentine's Day gifts, but forgot about it and just realised that you have less than 24 hours to find a gift for your girl. Not to worry! I have a last minute gift list ready for the forgetful ones. Of course, you don't have time to be creative, so follow this list if you're in haste, and you can't go wrong:

If you plan to ask her out on Valentine's Day: a single rose. It's sweet, charming, and extremely romantic, but not over-the-top.

If she's your girlfriend (short term): a single rose, soft toy or candy. Sweet but not too personal, you don't want her to think you're going too fast.

If she's your girlfriend (long term): bouquet of roses + card, lingerie if she's the type to like it. Most women would prefer lingerie over candy, because it lasts longer. However, only give her lingerie if you two have a really close but open relationship. You don't want her to think that you want to bed her. If you get her lingerie, make sure it's in the right size.

If she's your fiance/wife: bouquet of roses, arranged by a florist with a personal card containing a thoughtful message, or jewellery. Jewellery is a personal thing, it will last long, and chances are she'll wear it a lot, so buy good quality. A nice romantic dinner for two at a restaurant is also recommended.

This guideline is pretty much common knowledge, and a mutual rule amongst women. Roses are a must, red roses that is. If you're the extreme romantic time, give her yellow roses (they mean eternal love), but only if you're sure she'll understand what they mean.

The gifts towards the beginning for more impersonal, for someone you know less, and the more personal and expensive gifts should be reserved for someone you have known for a while. Do not try to give a girl lingerie on your first date- it will scare her. And do not give candy to your wife, she'll pretend to appreciate it, but she would probably prefer jewellery.

-Ebony

Guy Guide to Valentines Day Amidst the World Economic Crisis.

So, you:

• have just been kicked out of home
• lost that football bet
• lost a game of poker
• lost your job
• lost your wallet
• a student

We understand that not all guys are rich and that's okay. You don't have to be rich to be the sweetest guy in the world (well, it'd kind of help though. A lot.). Make her feel special this year, even if you are in a tight ass budget. The first rule is to be creative. Below are few ideas to get your brains pumping. Or in case you've left it last minute and now you're thinking "SHIT!". Every true love story is unique and so make it so. Feel free to modify these to any extent. You can change it completely. Remember, this is a show of love for her on one of many days you should make her feel like the one and only woman left on this planet.

• Make a compilation of all her favorite songs. The songs on it should be significant or an inside joke to your relationship and that is why it is so special wonderful and well done in the past. Put songs that you have danced together to (trust me, she remembers and replay that video with audio over and over in her head when she's bored!), songs you know she loves. Songs with the sweetest lyrics. Add ones that are a bit of an inside joke to the both of you only. Be creative.
• Give her an all year 'round gift. Cut out hearts and write "I love you because..." or "I love you more than..." and give them to her every day for the next year til next Vday. This really shows that Vday is just another day you love her. She'll appreciate it in the long run :)
  Nothing. Unless you want to buy precut hearts which shouldn't cost so much either.
• Send candy hearts and roses and chocolate. Who doesn't like a bit of tradition. Be careful - if she's the type that hates conventional this might be seen as 'uncreative' to her. Most girls like a bit of cheesy sweetness, though ;)
• Pack a picnic and just lie back and watch the day move past you.
• Go to the library and make out.
• Hide gifts or cards or messages all around her life so she'd find them throughout the day.
• Surprise her. Show up at her doorsteps bright and early and scream "I LOVE YOU!!" (Make sure her parents won't mind. Make sure you've MET them/they know who the heck you are beforehand if she hasn't moved out! If not - twist this idea about a bit ;D)
• Do her chores for her for the entire day/week/month. Do her homework, do her dishes - you get my drift.
• Make her a cake.
• Dress up and sing something stupid to her. Extra points for a creative/uncreative dance :)
  

"I Love You"

Last week, I talked about the meaning of love. I also mentioned that love is an important thing to girls, and saying “I love you” isn’t something that should be thought lightly of. You may not, although you should, but girls know the difference between “love” and “like”, and they will expect you to act accordingly.

Never say the three words to a girl if you don’t mean it. Saying it is like taking a huge step in the relationship for them. It signifies that you are wholly committed and you are willing to sacrifice anything for them.

Some guys might think it a great idea to say the three magical words and have a girl forgive/fall even more in love with you. But frankly, if you don’t love her, you don’t. So saying “I love you” to her will only give you pressure if you say it when you don’t mean it. So save yourself.

But if you do love her however, don’t hesitate to say it. Run, don’t walk, and let it be known to her. I promise it will make her heart melt like a ball of butter.

The L Words

So there a few L words that guys must know. Girls take it seriously, so pay attention, and take notes:

1. Like: you like chocolate, you like your friends, you like football. You like women as friends, this is the lowest least meaningful word on the L word chain.

2. Like: yes, that's italics, use it when you want to be slightly more than friends but aren't sure if you want to get serious yet. Be careful when using this word, girls can take it the wrong way. Never say 'I like you' unless you want to start getting romantic. Never say 'I like her' to your friends, and mean that you like her as friend. If you like someone as a friend, CLEARLY STATE SO.

3. Lust: Dangerous thing, can often be mistaken for love. You can like and lust, OR love and lust, but lust and lust alone should not be the basis of a relationship. Lust is the animal-like need to get physical; kiss, touch, sleep together, etc. If you and your girlfriend are all touchy-touchy and no serious talking, it's lust. If you like a girl for her looks and for how she'd probably be in bed, and you have no interest in getting to know who she really is, that's lust. A lustful relationship is fine, as long as both of you know that it's not very serious, that it's more of a friends-with-benefits thing than a boyfriend-girlfriend thing. Leading her on to make her think that the loving will come after you're done with the lusting, IS WRONG.

4. Love: It's a strange thing, some people claim they can tell WHEN it is that they fall in love, others say they come into terms with it eventually. Indicators of love: your heart spasmodically pumping when you see her, you feel all electrified when you touch her, you feel like you've been lightning struck when you catch her eyes, and you feel all numb down to your toes, you feel uncontrollably over-the-top floating-on-air happy, happy enough to make you feel like randomly bursting into song or to make you jump with joy, you grin at the thought of her, she occupies 98% of your thoughts, every single thing she does to indicate her affection to you makes you happy, multiplied a million times, every single thing she does to slightly hurt you, whether she knows it or not, makes you feel down, multiplied a million times. It basically feels like all your senses, feelings and emotions are going haywire.

Are you unknowingly turning me off?

No intro. Lets jump into business.

• U tipe lyk dis. Unless she tipes lyk dis az wellz, don't! If she uses correct grammar and punctuation online, so should you. I'm not saying to capitalize and spell check everything harder than making a hard copy of your English essay, but basic things such as correct spelling and decent grammar goes a long way. Just like you, most girls like a well educated person to around. As I remember Paige mentioning earlier - you're and your = different! It's okay to do it once, we promise :)
• Men with Dragon Ball Z hair (hey what happened to that, last I heard of it was 2003!). Seriously.
  Me: Wow, imagine that guy having sex with that hair!
  Person X: Never fear. He will never get laid with that hair in the first place.
  
• When guys talk about every girl as if they are meaningless, brainless objects. Some girls are, but most girls aren't and it would really give you extra credit if you appear to have knowledge of that. We understand that you feel that you need to prove you have testosterone and tell the world you are A MAN but sometimes, you just push it. It's not cool, dude.
• When you make yourself appear smart by dumbing people down.
• When you talk about girls, and periods as if you are one and do get your periods so therefore you know. You kind of don't and that just makes you look like an ignorant moron who is trying to be funny but unfortunately miserably failing.
• You openly watch porn. Again, I know this makes you look masculine but to an extent, and anything past that point is downright annoying.
  We know you watch porn. We know the statistics, and unless you are not part of the 100% of all male, then you watch porn. We get it. We get it that you watch porn and it's natural for all guys just as the fact that you also fart, burp, stare at yourself in the mirror and smile cutely and occasionally may choke on your own saliva is. We don't need any of that acknowledged repeatedly.
• Oversensitivity. Just as much as it annoys the freak out of girls when it's her teeth, it's not the best when its in a guy as well. We like sensitivity, however, too much is always just so; TOO much.

- Alice

Love, Love, Love

Love, if you haven’t already figured out, is a huge deal to girls.

So what is?

Here are a few quotes I found interesting:

• "Love is friendship set on fire." – unknown
• "Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Mark Twain
• "To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven." - Karen Sunde
• "Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away." - Dorothy Parker
• "Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
• “Love is like war: Easy to begin but hard to end." – Anonymous
• "Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place." - Zora Neale Hurston
• "Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." - Erich Fromm

Basically, if you love someone, you will:

• Do anything for them. Anything at all- You want the moon? Here’s the moon.
• You want the best for them; you want them to be happy.
• Overlook their flaws- over a long term.
• Be happy for them even if your love isn’t reciprocated.

So now think. So you really LOVE your partner, or is it more infatuation?

How To Be A Wonderful Boyfriend

• Show that you care. This may sound obvious, but many guys are completely oblivious. Be there for her, listen to everything she has to say, even if it doesn't interest you, offer her your help or advice if she requires any, and be supportive of her decisions and beliefs
• Don't be too clingy. Being there for her is good, but don't cross the line. Find the balance between supporting her, and giving her space. If she is busy and does not seem interested in making conversation at the moment, leave her alone for a while. It doesn't matter how many questions you ask, or how much you try to engage her in small talk, if she wants space, it WON'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
• Do not pressure her to hang out with your friends. Girls are strict on the 'Chicks before dicks' rule, so even if she is willing to hang with your friends, a girl loyal to her friends would still refuse. Instead, offer to hang with her friends. Otherwise, you can reach a compromise, and hang with both your friends. However, do remember that every living moment does not need to be spent with your girlfriend.
  
• Give her gifts, and often. The reason? No need. If you love her, shower her with gifts if it will make her happy. Buy her things that remind you of her, if you see something that she'd like, then buy it for her. The reason simply being 'because I thought you'd like it', or 'because I saw it and thought of you'. Why should Christmas, Valentine's Day or her birthday be any more special than any other day you spend with her? Show her that you appreciate every second in her presence.
  
• Make her feel like your number one priority. If it's love, then why not? Who cares about work or studying. You will always get a second chance at those, but love is rare. What if you never encounter it again? Make the most of the opportunity, and treasure her time. Make her feel like she's the most important thing to you, put aside other tasks for her. If you have something crucial you need to do, then make it up for her later. She might also be understanding of your situation, so it's no biggie if you can't be there all the time.
• Give her compliments. Notice her new haircuts, notice if she makes the effort to dress up for you, notice her strengths and talents, and compliment them.
  
• Take part in her romantic rendezvous, no matter how ridiculous. If she really wants to go to the prom, take her, and look like you're enjoying yourself. If she wants a sunset stroll on the beach, walk her. Notice her hints on such things, if she points out cute scenes from movies, she talks about a particular event or function, or if she mentions something romantic that happened to her friends recently. However, DO NOT COPY STRAIGHT OUT OF THE MOVIES/WHAT OTHER GUYS DO. This is strictly important. Be original! If she just told you about what some guy gave his girlfriend, the last thing you want to do is go get her exactly the same thing. Give her a variation, but NEVER the same thing. If it's a scene from a movie, be careful that you don't get overly cheesey or cliche.

NOTE: When you're supporting her or doing as she wishes, it is important that you still have an opinion, and EXPRESS it. No girl wants a dead boring guy who agrees to everything she wants, goes wherever she goes, and who has no opinion of his own. If she likes you, she'd like you for YOU, not how much you agree with her, or how you follow her around like a puppy. Adore her, but arguments or disagreements SHOULD HAPPEN. I'm not saying to go pick up fights, or to hold your beliefs or morals against her. Respect her own beliefs, but if yours are different, do not feel the need to conform to hers, or vice versa.

-Ebony

I Like You.

So Simple. So sweet. So heartwarming.

I'll run you guys through the rules, first.

1. Be sincere.
   
2. Be serious.

So you've finally decided that you will tell her. Thank you and congratualations. You have finally graduated from a wimpy boy and can now proceed to finding your way to becoming a man.

Now the fun part. Learn from your idiot friends who told the girl of his dreams on Bebo. Don't do that.

• Write her a letter. It is very sweet because it is very old school. Just make sure you get this to the right girl. This is the non stupid alternative if you're online confessions sorta guy.
  
• Send her a message in chocolate or sweetheart candies. Roses work too. Cough, Valentines Day coming up, cough.
  
• Send her a list of reasons why she's awesome under 'pros' and put not with me under 'cons'.
• Write in on her hand.
  
• Record it, burn it on a CD then give it to her.
  

Do not proceed down these roads, or even conceive thoughts of doing so.

• Tell her online. We've discussed this. How would she know if you are joking or not? How would she know if it isn't actually your friend on your account? Sure, you can tell her again/confirm in person, but where is the sweetness and surprise in that? Just don't, okay?
• Get your friend to do it. You just lost about ten points with her even if she does agree because she has been in love with you.
• Make a joke of it. End of sentence.

When Guys Can Get Annoying

There’s a fine line between being friendly and just plain dead annoying. I’ve met many guys who upon first impression are extremely friendly and sociable. You’ll know you’re one of those people if you’re open about yourself and will jump at every opportunity to befriend someone or do them a favour.

All this is really sweet- everyone likes a nice guy, but it is the nice guy who is most likely to cross the line and suddenly become the biggest pest.

It doesn’t take much. You could be simply asking her about her day like you do every day, you could simply be asking her what she was up to, what plans she had- it could be something so small, so insignificant, but god will she blow up.

Before you know it, you’ve suddenly gone from being the sweet friendly guy to the annoying guy who won’t leave people alone.

So why the sudden change? When we first meet someone, it is normal to want to think the best of them. We overlook the small things that people do- your inability to differentiate between ‘your’ and ‘you’re’ maybe, your infuriating habit of constantly fixing their hair maybe.

Overtime however, these small things build up, and there is sure to be a time we will tick. Suddenly, when you say “Your going to the party, right?”, we will explode and you will seem like the most stupid, infuriating idiot out there.

So what do you need to know to stay on the friendly, safer side?

• If you’re talking to us and we don’t seem like we want to talk to you, don’t push us. Stop trying to make small talk, stop talking altogether. You’ve made it known you want to talk- we will respond properly when we want to.
• Don’t be clingy. Girls don’t like guys who are there all the time. You get boring, and it makes it seem like you have no life.
• Stop asking us out all the time, whether it is as friends or as an actual date, if we’ve already rejected you. You get two attempts. If we tell you we’re busy the first time, reschedule and ask a second time. If we still say no and don’t offer an alternative, sorry guys, we’re just not interested! When we are, we’ll let you know. Promise.
• If you’re talking online, learn to spell properly! Your grammar is important too. Call us pedantic, but little things like these not only annoy us, they make you look uneducated.
• I know a lot of you guys care about your hair. I guess you could say a guy playing with their hair is my biggest pet peeve. Don’t get me wrong- I love a guy who cares for their presentation, but constantly pulling and rearranging your hair makes you seem like you’re unfocused, not to mention self-centred.

Paige.

How To Be A Secret Admirer

Girls like secret admirers. They're mysterious, romantic, and fun to figure out. If you want to spill to the girl you like, but you don't want to tell her all in one go, then sent her notes, present and messages, anonymously.

DOs:

• It's called a secret admirer, so make sure you don't let ANYONE know
• Send her secret messages. E.G. anonymous emails, to her house, hand delivered, in her locker
  
• Send her gifts. E.G. Roses on Valentines day, small gifts for no reason at all
• Be poetic. In your messages that is. You don't have to actually WRITE a poem though. Just be creative, think from your heart
• If being poetic isn't for you, try using quotes instead. Find quotes that express your feelings, but in someone else's words
• Sign off anonymously. Otherwise she'd think it was just from a friend.
• Address it directly to her. Otherwise she'd think it was for someone else.
• Make sure your messages are legible.

DON'Ts:

• Go to far. This may be considered as stalker-ish, or creepy
• Leave any clues. Dust your trail well, leave behind NOTHING
• Be long winded in your messages
• Don't be cliched either.
  
• Get caught
• Continue for too long. You have one month max. You can't keep sending her messages and gift forever. Know, when you start out, that you will have to tell her eventually. Give yourself a set date, and make yourself tell her when the day comes.
  
• Don't keep sending gifts over a long period of time, it'll make her impatient.

With Valentine's Day nearing, now is the perfect time to be a secret admirer. But remember: you must be completely prepared to tell her by a set date, otherwise there's no point! Plus you'll make her feel frustrated.

You've Fallen Hard... Now What?

Scrape that. It doesn't matter if you're wholly and completely in love with her or are just crushing on her. There's a universal step that should always follow. Are you ready??

Tell her.

Yes, you heard me. There are many times of the day when I think, and stress over the lost opportunities of the world. Not just regarding my own life love, because, trust me - it's hella depressing. But of the world. Yes, I imagine all the lost opportunities of the people that I do not know and never will and it saddens me.

It saddens me that people's stupidity, insecurities, ego, pride get in the way of a path that can be truly rewarding and life changing.

I beg all men of the world to let the girl you like know it. Think about it; its the only rational thing in the world.

Aren't you completely saddened by the fact that maybe, no matter how small or slight that possibility was - that you may have ended up with her? Your life may be completely different right now. You could be listening to pretentious pop together, you could be walking along a road holding her hand. You could be spending Valentine's Day with SOMEONE this year. But you are not. You are lonely and cold. Well lonely and hot if you happen to belong in the southern hemisphere as I am aware that some of our readers are. (Don't worry Australia, China, NZ - we've not forgotten about you! :D)

It's an established social expectation that guys make the first move. Therefore, even if a girl is completely in love with you, chances are - she won't do anything about it unless you tell her or you give the green lights. And guys never give any light at all, so all there is to do is tell her. Sorry about that. You have no other option.

What is the worse that can happen? She can eat you alive, if you look like tasteful meat - but lets face it; it's unlikely she's cannibalistic. Or maybe you should ask her prior to doing the deed. Drop by and say "hey, are you a cannibal?". No, seriously, don't do that. SHE ISN'T A CANNIBAL, OKAY?! Gosh, what is the matter with you?

So, besides eating you because she is a cannibal, the worst thing she can do is say no.

But now at least you know. Let me put it this way. You will either get a yes, or a no. If it is a yes - GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME! You can now go imagine how pretty your procreations with her would be.

And if it is a no, at least now you know. At least now you will no longer be wasting your time crushing on her and getting even more hurt in the end. At least you gave yourself a chance.

Congratulations. You can now move on with your life, with or without her.

I will be writing a post on the right way to tell this special, special girl quite soon. Until then, don't fear.

Little Romantic Things A Guy Can Do To Win A Girl Over

It really isn’t that hard. Try some of these and you’ll have any girl falling for you.

• Write little romantic notes and stick them in places you know she’ll find them- in her locker, books, car. These are really sweet and will surprise her and make her think of you.
• Her voicemail works too.
• Cook her dinner- candlelight and all. There’s something special about something prepared just for her.
• Also try breakfast in bed works.
• Call her up spontaneously for no reason at all and let her know how much she means to you.
• Serenade her- do make sure you can sing beforehand, though. If you’re not too sure, best not to be too ambitious.
• Putting on a slow love cong and asking her to dance is equally romantic.
• Blindfold her and take her to a place she's never been.
• Stand up for her whenever she’s in the need.
• Re-enact her favourite love scenes.
• Re-enacting your first date is also good.
• Write ‘I Love You’ on the mirror when she’s in the shower.
• Spray your smell on her pillow so she’ll be reminded of you everytime she falls asleep.

How To Tell If A Girl Likes You

• She really makes an effort to get to know you
• She's flirting with you (hair twirling, using your name often, she laughs hard at a lot of things you say, she makes eye contact often, only to quickly look away, she compliments you)
• Her eyes dilate when you're nearby (it's often hard to tell if the girl has dark eyes, but its scientifically proven that the eyes dilate when they see something they find attractive)
• She tries to engage you in conversation, and finds the excuse to talk to you
• She is unusually nervous around you
• She is more casual and relaxed around other guys, or her own friends
• She asks you for help often (e.g. with homework, something she doesn't get at school, her feet hurt, she's feeling cold, she's thirsty and needs a drink, etc.) She's not feeling needy, she's testing you to see how you'd react if she's in need.
• She is usually the one next to you when with a large group of friends (e.g. when you're watching a movie, walking around in the mall)
• She talks about more serious matters when you're alone, often concerning your family or your future plans
• She makes reference to a lot of her ex-boyfriends, or of guys who have liked her, or currently like her (she's trying to make you jealous, and make you realise that she is desired by others)
• She flirts with your friends, but she doesn't engage in serious conversations with them, only casual banter (again, she's trying to make you jealous)
• She remembers little unimportant details, such as the day you met, how you met, a small thing you mentioned a while ago
• She asks you if you have a girlfriend, whether you've had any girlfriends in the past, what you look for in a girl
• Her friends often find excuses to leave the two of you alone, they giggle or look at the two of you curiously when together
• She makes contact often (e,g, hugging, lightly touching your shoulder, pretending to punch or slap you)
• She extends your conversations and goes into detail on most of the things you say, she's asks many questions
• She likes your new haircut
• She smiles often at you
• She gets easily offended at some things that you don't find offensive at all (girls have fragile hearts. Guys don't know this, but they often, unintentionally, send off the wrong signals). Things such as talking about how hot/cute/pretty another girl is, seeming uninterested at what she has to say
• She casually mentions that she thinks you're a date-able kind of guy

Yes, this list is long, but over the years, women have developed many ways of hinting her feelings towards a guy without actually screaming out 'I LIKE YOU, DAMMIT!', but men can really be very infuriating when they are blatantly oblivious to all our hints.

However, don't be too cocky if a girl does some of the things on the list (or a close alternative). You wouldn't want to be over paranoid and think that every girl is hot for your heels, because that just makes you arrogant and overconfident, and girls don't like that.

- Ebony

Why Are Bad Boys So Good

I totally blame Hollywood, Bollywood, Korean, Japanese, Chinese, whatever-floats-your-boat entertainment industry.

This is the plot outline of 95% if not more of any movie or series you will ever come across. The guy would be hardcore bad. He would be hot, rich (this is optional - but it usually is the case because you know - money just makes everything so much more convenient!), popular with the ladies but a TOTAL and complete arsehole. So at first, he would completely disregard the totally pretty leading lady who is supposedly unpopular and an outcast. Isn't it so nice that she would more like than not come with a slammin' body? It's all in the package deal.

Okay okay - so the guy is really bad and either the girl or Mr Bad would have feelings for the other one. Then they discovered "UH OH. WE BOTH LOVE EACH OTHER!" and then he changes. We see his really soft spot inside! Aww, isn't that perfect?

Well, unfortunately, life isn't always so great for everybody who is in love with a bad boy. Speaking from a personal stance, I totally get what girls mean when they say "I can't help it!" or "It wasn't something I could have controlled" when it comes to bad boys. I've been there and done all that.

It's ridiculous! From an objective stance - say you are someone who has never been in a romantic mess - like... Buddha, then you would think the girl is wholly and completely insane as she knows too well that he is not good for her.

So why is it that girls dig unsuitable men?

• They're fun and exciting. Unless you are above 30, girls your age are probably young and looking for a thrill. And why shouldn't they? Why waste your youth when you are allowed to be stupid for about a decade and can just say that "oh - it's alright, it was something I did when I was young!"
• It is seen that guys with attitude and guts are testosterone filled which is manly and attractive.
• We believe we can change you as bad boys in those movies have been changed by lurve.

Ways to get girls with this in mind:

• If you are bad, you are bad. If you are not bad, you are not bad. Don't be someone you are not. It would work against you for sure.
• You don't have to be bad to be fun and exciting. You shouldn't not be fun and exciting because you are not a bad boy.
• Show ways that you are the man without being a total fungus.
• LAST BUT NOT LEAST: don't ever forget there is a fine line between bad boys and totally out of the question. You can be a bad boy, but it doesn't mean that you have to treat her like crap. Because sooner or later, she would realize, as I had, that you are not worth the time when you are treating a girl who is genuinely into you, like dirt. And there you go, you probably just lost the best thing that's happened to you yet or ever will.

~ Again, it's Alice from Wonderland.

How To Break Up With A Girl

Ok, so you don’t think it’s working out. Ok, the thought of even being with her may make you want to jump off a bridge, but that’s no reason to be a dick when it comes to breaking it to her.

So, be honest. Don’t say you need to focus more on school when you’re obviously not. It’ll only give her hope of continuing your relationship after school.

Don’t let the world know of your plans of breaking up with her before she actually finds out. It will be very humiliating if the whole world seems to know about it when she’s only just found out.

Keep it simple. Don’t umm and ahh. Get to the point. It’ll make it less painful.

Give her a reason. And don’t tell her it’s because of her. Even if it may be. It doesn’t sound nice when she’s crying to her friends about it.

Girls take a while to get over break ups, so don’t even THINK about dating another girl for a few weeks at least.

Paige.

5 Small Things You Can Do To Be A Better Man

1. Get a haircut. You have absolutely no idea how much this affects your overall looks, but it does. Greatly. A haircut too short will usually make your face look bigger and beefier. Big manga-hair looks ridiculous. Hair should compliment your face, not steal the spotlight.
   
2. Buy (and use) nice cologne or a fragrance. Different girls will like different smells, but any bottled smell is better than the smell of your sweat. No one will like you if you smell like the football team.
3. Attempt to wear something that doesn't look like you slept in it. Whether you're a funky graphic tee sort of guy, or a classic polo guy, make sure you actually wash your clothes, and iron them when necessary. I know this is pretty basic, but you'd be surprised at the amount of guys who forget to wash their clothes.
   
4. Stop wearing the same thing over and over. It's probably not the first thing on your mind when you're dressing. It's probably not on your mind at all when you're dressing. But please start taking notice, and make sure you don't wear the same thing three weeks in a row. It really has people pondering over whether or not you own any other items of apparel.
5. Watch your mouth. Don't be offensive. Be charming. Be suave. Be charismatic. This includes not using a swear word for every second word you speak, complimenting people, noticing if they've made a particular effort dressing up for you, remembering their references, the things they like to eat, the movies they plan on watching, and the bands they listen to.

- Ebony

Pickup lines that COULD work, and why.

You've seen and read them all over the internet. You probably have googled it once upon a time some time ago when you were really bored. But I'm more sure about this than most things - there are hardly a handful of guys who actually have the balls to pull them off to a girl he is (note!) genuinely interested in.

Note: can - so it is largely dependent on how it pulled off, the timing, the guy, the girl etc.

• Baby I'll treat you like my hw- I'll slam you on the table and do you all night long. A bit far fetched, I see your point. Outright offensive, maybe - but chances are you'll get a mouth wide open "HA!" or eyes deeply rolled to the back of her heads.
  This line is the epitome of crazy gangster super nerd. He is obviously, a nerd and very very comfortable himself - he uses it to his advantage. And you have got to admit it - how can you not give kudos to a man who is man enough to pull something like this.
• I less than three you..... (i <>This isn't so much a pickup line, and would be better whispered to a girl who would love that you are being so incredibly sweet - sugar sweet enough to say something like this.
• I wanna stick to you like glue-cose. Again, sweet - maybe sickly so but some girls are just into this stuff, you know?
• Is your father a terrorist, because you are the bomb. Haha, who has't heard of this one? And who has heard it being used? Exactly. You do the calculations ;)
• Lets make love like pi; irrational and never ending. Yeah, girls just like cheesy, cute stuff like this.
• Your beauty defies real and complex analysis. Maybe not exactly like this, but remember, each and every girl likes to hear that she is goddamn beautiful. It is fundamentally known that guys lie and deceive girls all the time in this area, and girls aren't stupid (well..., okay, lets not go there) but it's still extremely nice to the ears. Do it more often, please. It is about the same as the feeling you get when you hear a chick dig how large your biceps are. Not such a bad feeling, huh?

- Alice, from Wonderland.

Asking a Girl Out 101- What Not To Do

1. Don’t do it in front of her friends. This will only give her pressure, which can be a good or bad thing, but it’s best to play it safe.

2. Don’t get your best mate to do it for you, or her best mate for that matter. It makes it seem like a joke. And again, this will give her pressure.

3. Don’t go overboard. Being too confident will make you seem cocky, and frankly, cocky guys are cocks.

4. Don’t take a whole hour to get to the point. Girls like straight-forwardness.

5. For the love of god, when she asks “as friends?”, don’t give some ambiguous answer like “whatever suits you”, because they will only leave her pondering your real intentions.

Paige.

Ways to Get To Know A Girl Better

So you like this girl, but you know practically nothing about her, and have nothing to say to her. Step one, get to know her.

• Facebook: it's unbelievable the amount of things someone would include about themselves. Surprise her by knowing her favourite movies, the books she reads, the music she listens to.
• Read her blog if she owns one:

(source: postsecret.blogspot.com)

• Ask her friends. Be careful about this one though. If you ask too much, the friend will probably think of you as some psychotic stalker, or will most likely figure out that you her. Unless you are willing to tell the friend, then DO NOT TRY THIS. Also, note that girls tell other girls everything. If you tell someone, it will most likely reach the girl you like. So tread carefully.
• Ask her. It's simple as there. A nice and easy 'Hey, my name is ______, I wanna get to know you' is all it takes. If you're a little too shy, then start off by being her friend. Approach her and talk. It can be anything, as ridiculous as pretending you need a small loan, to complimenting her on some latest public achievement. Seize every opportunity.
  

Why Online Dating Services Will Never Work

You walk down the alter, slowly, happy and loving every moment of the attention you are thriving. Call me old fashioned, but there is something slightly less romantic about these vows: "When I logged onto Match.com, I hadn't expect something serious. I paid the $26.79 all access subscription fee and took it slowly. But when I set eyes upon your profile, I knew it was something more. Needless to say it was mutual love at first click."

Don't get me wrong, I've heard happy endings made by internet cupids, but the odds are there - against you. Besides romance, there are many reasons why you should RETHINK seriously about resorting to online dating services.

1. It's dangerous. It's the internet, this should be self explanatory! And especially in this area, more often than not you are being tricked, lied to or manipulated in some way. Chances are, if you meet the exact same girl on the street or through a friend, she would be completely sane and sweet. But the internet is so damn easy to talk bullocks with, it's almost a crime to not.
   And consider yourself lucky if you are being lied to by a girl if you get my drift. I mean, which literate person has not read or heard an online dating horror story?
2. It doesn't sound like you have a lot of friends or social life.
3. A girl will definitely find it harder to trust a guy who she found looking for playmates on the internet to not be wondering off doing the exact same thing behind her back. She understands you've got that dangerous potential.
4. She will feel as if she is with a man who is not man enough to go out there and fish for the ... fish himself. Rather, she knows you sit on your feminine ass and order from KFC (you know, they don't even sell fish.)
5. Her friends will laugh at her, and if you do have friends, that is - they'll will probably laugh at you, too.
6. She deserves a better story than this.

~ Again, it's Alice from Wonderland.